Busy Bee?

I.am.burnt.out.

Like completely worn out.

I got an e-mail from the Center for American Progress today about a new Leadership Institute they developed for people interested in policy changes/making that affects communities of color in the U.S. I started my application, but then I started thinking "Why am I doing this?" ... Part of me wants to do it. Part of me thinks it would be really cool. But most of me is saying "Really Dyci?? Do we have to do this again??" I realized that I was only applying because that's what I think someone expects me to do. No one has verbally said it, but I feel like everyone is anticipating my next move, and it has to be HUGE. I mean after declining enrollment into one of the best graduate programs in the world, I better have something good up my sleeve right? UGA Amazing Student. The Root's 25 under 21 that will change the world. Published articles at the most popular progressive think tank in this country. Founder and Executive director of a registered nonprofit organization. All this before I turned 22. How do I follow all that up?? I mean I have to go bigger. At least that's how I feel. ... But going bigger requires more work. More energy. More time. And I am tired. 6 years of full speed ahead will wear you out. Junior and senior year of high school I told myself I would work work work and rest in the summer. But I went straight into full-time work a week after graduating high school. And it was full throttle from there. So senior year of college I told myself I'd play play pay after graduation ... But now I feel like I'm not living up to everyone's expectations.

I follow the blog of an amazing girl named Olivia that I met at CGIU and she talks about all the amazing things she is doing. She's pretty much the ish. Like, no, really. She is one of the great Millennials. She's going to work for the UN or something super dope like that. I used to read her blog and feel really bad about not doing more, but then I got tired just thinking about how tired I am LOL. Then I didn't feel bad anymore. Back in the day when I was 21 I had the energy for all that, but at 22 I'm over it. lol You know, now that I'm old and stuff.

Right now I'm focusing on working and saving money. Doing some promo/liquor modeling on the side and still updating my port with new images so I can get a comp card made. The images I'm using now are getting me small jobs, but if I want to do some real modeling I gotta step my game up. Speaking of modeling, a few days ago...well maybe more like a little over a week ago...anywho, it doesn't matter when it was...one of my Facebook friends felt the need to tell me that my Facebook profile picture was nice, but if I didn't intend to be a model I should trash it because it would come back to haunt me, more or less. She was very polite about it and I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but I didn't. This is the photo she was referring to:

Personally, I think this is a *damn good* fashion shot! You would think I was on the cover of KING magazine the way she was talking. In a thong or something. I get where she is coming from, but that is one of the things that turns me off to the whole corporate/professional world. I feel like I can't be smart AND pretty. Its one or the other. If I'm too pretty I won't be taken seriously. If I model I have to be super conscientious about what shoots I do because in my future professional life someone might think my modeling was unprofessional. One time I had a boss tell me that I should follow the dress code better because I wasn't wearing business clothes, but instead, it looked like I was modeling business clothes...So I am wearing business clothes...I just look too good in them? Is that what she was saying?? LOL Like really?? 

God Doesn't 'Hate Fags' ... or Muslims ... or Anyone Else

God? Allah? Buddha? ... Ok, I'm not going to sit here and list all of them so don't worry. But this morning I'm driving in my car thinking, "God is good." Then I got to thinking, "Who is God?" I mean, when I think about God I think of the creator of the world. Father of Jesus Christ, etc etc. But that's not who God is to everyone. So I started to think about religion as a whole. You know they say the two most controversial topics in the world are religion and politics. So controversial in fact that it's taboo to talk about them with a stranger or someone you are just meeting. When you go to etiquette class, they stress how much you should NOT talk about religion or politics at a business dinner or other formal event. (Yes, I have taken etiquette class LOL). Why is religion such a touchy subject? Why are nonbelievers so critical of religion? Why do some folks get so defensive about their religion?

If you think about it, the fundamental teachings of just about every religion are the same. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Be nice to people so you can have good karma. Love your neighbor as your love yourself. So on and so on. It's all the same. Religion itself is humanistic. They all, generally, revolve around the same basic human values. Love. Family. Kindness. Gentleness. Patience. Etc etc. So when someone has a good heart and are living "right," but don't believe in the same thing you believe in, why is it such a huge deal? And I suppose I am speaking strictly from a Christian perspective. As a Christian that tries to actually read the Bible (yeah, some of us do that) and live by all of its teachings and not some of them, I am so baffled when I see people like this:

Thank God for breast cancer? God hates fags? Really??

Dear Christian extremists, thank you for giving all of us a bad name. 

Sincerely, 

Me

My Bible teaches me that God loves everyone. Regardless of anything you do the one person that will ALWAYS love you is God. Regardless of whether or not you love Him back, He loves you and there is nothing you can do about it. My Bible also teaches me "Judge not lest ye be judged." Who do you think you are to tell someone they will burn in hell?? And don't tell me you have to be a mission and spread the gospel because ... uuuhh ... that ain't the way to do it. NOONE ... I repeat NOONE ... is listening to you yell at them about how they will definitely, 100% burn in hell for eternity because God told you so last night. That's NOT the way to spread the gospel. Casting Crowns has a song that I love so much I put some of the lyrics on my Facebook profile:

People aren't confused by the gospel,
They're confused by us.
Jesus is the only way to God,
But we are not the only way to Jesus.
This world doesn't need
My tie, my hoodie,
My denomination, or my translation of the Bible,
They just need Jesus.
We can be passionate about what we believe,
But we can't strap ourselves to the gospels.
Because we're slowing it down
Jesus is going to save the world,
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way.

What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love them in their time of need

As a Christian I don't feel like I have any right to tell you that what you will burn in hell because you don't believe what I do. All I can do is share "the good news" and say a prayer. Whatever else happens is between you and God. I will always be there to answer questions and serve as a resource, but I will never judge someone for not being a Christian. Some of the nicest, kindest, most generous people I have ever met weren't Christians. And some of the meanest, cruelest, most conniving people I have ever met sing in the choir at church. Even have the nerve to be on a committee of some sort. My personal belief? When they get to the pearly gates and tell God, "I believe Jesus is my savior and I follow his teachings" God is going to respond, "That's what ya mouth say, but ya heart ain't in it." This is one of those things I struggle with with my faith. It is true that the Bible says the only way to true salvation is through Jesus, but what about all the mean, hateful people that say they are Christians and the amazing people that aren't. I don't know the answer to that, but I certainly don't believe God will overlook a pure heart and good deeds.

The pastor at Cornerstone shared an unsurprising statistic one week at church, "Only 15% of Christians truly live as Christians should (ie tithing, giving back to the community, being kind to EVERYONE and not just the folks they like, etc etc). Well no wonder folks think Christians are all crazy hypocrites ... a vast majority of us are! Honestly, if I wasn't a Christian, I wouldn't want to become one either ... which is why I wasn't one for so long ;-) (which is a whole other story I might share later). Example: You mean to tell me you truly believe in your heart of hearts, deep down on the inside, truly profoundly believe that God wanted you to kill off tons of Native Americans and take over their land?? No people...that wasn't your "destiny" to "manifest." Nooo God didn't want you to kill every single person that ever spoke against the church. Like come on...what Bible are you reading?? What verse in your Bible tells you to stand across the street from someone's funeral and yell about how much God hates the person being buried? Please direct me.

Anywho, I feel like I've kinda been all over the place with this post, with no clear point being made. LOL So to wrap it all up, I guess my point is that:

1. We Christians have GOT to stop telling people they are going to hell. YOU don't get to make that call.

2. Either be hot or cold. Be on or off. Get in the water or stay out. Don't dabble your feet in it but never really get in. In layman's terms, stop picking the stuff in the Bible you want to follow because it's easy and throwing out the rest then going around screaming about being a Christian. (I am guilty of being luke warm at times too) But you being half on and half off only makes it that much harder for the folks that are all on to advance the Kingdom. People who aren't Christians just look at you as a hypocrite. Be who you are. We all have struggles and we can't be perfect, but keep your judgements to yourself. If you are REALLY that concerned with someone's salvation, pray for them. Don't scream at them about how you are trying to save them. LOL When I was in high school and I verbally said, "I am not a Christian," I had a friend that was praying that I would find Christ. At the time I didn't know it, but when I finally came around she told me that she had been praying for me since high school.

3. To all non-Christians out there: All Christians aren't mindless followers of child molesters. I say that jokingly, but seriously. Some of us actually read our Bibles and know what's in it. We aren't perfect and we may not understand everything completely, but that's where our faith comes in. We don't judge you for not being a Christian and I'd appreciate it if you didn't judge me (ie call me mindless or stupid) for being a Christian. I challenge you to actually take the time to learn what Christianity is all about. And any other religion for that matter before you develop a strong opinion about it. Don't let the ignorant extremists outside the courthouse and abortion clinics influence your opinion about Christianity. I am shaking my head at them just as much as you are.

And those are my thoughts.

D

A Lesson on Ethnicity and Language

Let's hit these points real quick:

1. Africa is not a country.
2. Spanish is not what you call people...unless of course they are from Spain.
3. All Latinos are not fair skinned with fine hair.
4. All Africans are not darker skinned with kinky hair.
5. People are not oriental, rugs are...and Ramen noodles too.

Let's start with Africa. You know what I loathe with every fiber of my being?? When people say "In Africa etc etc etc..." What?? In Africa?? Because you just said those two words I will probably disregard everything else you say because it will be so general that even thinking about it will give me a headache. Africa is not a country. You don't get to say "In Africa they wear..." ... "In Africa they eat..." Like come on! Do you know how big Africa is??? I'll show you how big Africa is ...

Depending on what source you use there are 46 to 55 countries in Africa and there are anywhere from 1800-3000 unique languages spoken. 1800-3000 is a big gap. I know lol. I just find the numbers, I don't do the counting. All of these people are African ...

 

  

Am I getting my point across? There is so much diversity in Africa. Africa is a continent. Not a country or a small city with a homogenous population. Treat it as such. Stop generalizing. 

2. This one really grinds my gears. Stop calling people Spanish when they are not from Spain. If you live in America and are talking about the person you saw at the grocery store, it is unlikely that they were Spanish. And don't just assume they are Mexican either (but we'll get to that later). Spanish is a language. In 2009 nearly 47,000,000 people lived in Spain. Now once again, depending on the source, you've got roughly 400 million Spanish speakers in the world. So as you can see, the odds that that person you met at the grocery store is Spanish is slim. There was a trending topic on Twitter one day: #spanishgirls. Ugh! I'm sure you can imagine how annoyed I was that day. Latinos speak Spanish. That is the language. Not their ethnicity. Also, every Spanish speaker living in America is not Mexican or Guatemalan. Just a quick fact in case you didn't know ... -___- Oh! Another thing that blew my mind this weekend ...  This comment: Yeah, she got hair like them Spanish girls...I won't even start with the grammatical breakdown of that sentence, and we've already discussed that Spanish is the language, not the person in the majority of cases...but here we go again with generalizations. All Latin@s are not fair-skinned with fine wavy hair. Just like there are African Americans, there are Afro-Latin@s. Case in point:

 Colombia 

 Honduras

 Dominican Republic

 And my boo Zoe, Dominicana y Boricua (Puerto Rican)

3. And I conclude with this: Stop calling people "Orientals." Also, stop calling all Asian people you see with almond-shaped eyes Chinese. Every person of Asian descent living in America is not Chinese. Oh, and stop getting offended when the women doing your nails are speaking in their native language. It is highly unlikely that they are talking about you. They don't care enough to talk about you. I promise. They are discussing their own personal lives and it's much easier to do it in their native language than in broken English to make YOU feel more comfortable. Get over yourself. Lastly, below you will find a map of Asia. Every Asian person does not look like Lucy Liu (who is Taiwanese by the way. Yes, Taiwan. I didn't mean to say Thailand. They are two different countries). Indians are Asians. Indonesians are Asians. Now some consider the Middle East to be a part of Asia, some Africa. For the purposes of this blog post, I don't really care either way LOL. The point is that you should be more aware and less general when speaking and thinking. 

And that is my lesson for today,

D

PS: Race is fake. It is not real. It was made up during slavery to separate people. It is a social and political, man-made construct. Can we please stop talking about it. Before we decided to start calling folks black and white they were British, Dutch, Irish etc etc. Then they put race on a Census and now it's a stupid little thing that we put entirely too much emphasis on. If you are really that interested in ethnic heritage (like I am) then go for it. Be curious and talk about ethnicity. But black and white? Race? Let.It.Go.

Now I'm not referring to the policy, socioeconomic, etc. implications of race. The effects of the race are real. I'm more so thinking about an idealistic view of race where everyone should be treated equally regardless of what racial category you choose to put them in. And stop looking sideways at "mixed-race" couples. Let them live!

ZTA Love!

So I am in the middle of another 14-day work marathon that ends on Sunday. Then I get a day off and I'll be working from "home" a little next week, but still not nearly as much as I have been working. I " "'ed home because it's one of the places I call home, but I don't get any mail there; my dad's house. Yup, headed back to good ole Las Cruces, New Mexico. A trip there is loooong overdue. I haven't seen in my sorority sisters in a little over a year and I can NOT express how absolutely excited I am. I'm getting a little adrenaline rush just talking about it! I have only met my little virtually and I finally get to see her and give her a HUGE hug!! And my big??? Lord knows I miss that girl!! We've Skyped a few times, but we are soooo busy! I think I'll snuggle in her bed every night. And my pledge class! Gosh!! Shelby, Grayce, Beth, Libby ... ok I can't sit here and name everybody LOL. AAHH I am so excited!!! I will be there right smack in the middle of recruitment, so I know their lives are going to be crazy hectic ... Sadly, I won't get to see some of the recent grads/brides. Ya can't win 'em all though. I'll be thinking of them in spirit...Justine, the first ZTA I ever met on campus, Brooke B. ... words can't explain, Jacque Gr ... ehem execuse me ... Kennedy :-). I could talk about so many girls here and just thinking about all of them gives me that little feeling of nostalgia. I only talk to some of my sisters once every few weeks, and sometimes months, but if any one of them ever needed anything I would do my best to make it happen. Like when April came to Atlanta...there was NO way I would have one of my sisters in my city paying for a hotel!! Of course I volunteered our house (and of course I didn't ask Sharon until AFTER I told April she could stay at our house even though I wasn't there LOL).

When I first moved to Las Cruces in 2009, I was a little orphan child and ZTA took me as one of their own from day 1. People ask me all the time why I joined ZTA, being one of very few African American women in the entire sorority, and I have so many reasons! I tried my hand at NPHC, but finally realized it just wasn't for me. In fact, I had decided against going Greek, but when I moved to Cruces and didn't know anyone I thought, "What do I have to lose? If nothing else I can meet some cool girls and drop." Little did I know that I would fall in love with Beta Nu and grow to love ZTA soooo much during my time at NMSU. I love when all the Susan G. Komen events are happening and those little pale-pink ZTA ribbons are EVERYWHERE! And we have Founder's Day the same month as breast cancer awareness month, so it's the best time to see new and old Zetas get together. Ah, that just reminded me that I've got to get my ZTAlways service stuff over. Another awesome thing about ZTA is ZTAlways. It's the alumni chapter for women who travel a lot or don't have an established alumni chapter in their area. I'm the service chair for this term so I've got to plan all these super cool service projects that I am stoked about! It's a great way for me to stay connected with ZTA's from all over even though I'm ... well who knows where I am or where I'm going half the time. I got connected to Amy S. through ZTAlways and she is umm... don't even have words! I have to plan a dinner with her soon. She's so nice. She's my official ZTAlways buddy. hehe. That sounds really corny, but she is.

Oh yeah... I'll also see my dad in Las Cruces haha. Last time I was there he gave me a little guilt trip about hanging out with the girls so much. He was so excited about me moving to Las Cruces in 2009, but I don't think he planned on me always doing ZTA stuff while I was there (and when I visit lol). I'll be sure to spend time with him though! I was planning to cut my trip short and come back so that I could work through the weekend, but it's not worth it. I'll always have time to work. And if I have to wait a little while longer to save the money I need to move to South America, then that's just what I'll have to do. I don't see my dad nor my sorority sisters enough to rush through a trip just to get back to work. Work will always be there. The memories I'll make next week and the time I will spend with family and friends just isn't worth rushing through it.

Speaking of rushing, I've noticed that I am doing it a lot. I'm spending a lot of time complaining about being here and thinking about where I want to be without taking the time to smell the roses. I've been working 60-hour weeks most weeks to save money so that I can move to South America in December ...  but what is going to happen if I don't do that? Nothing. Absolutely nothing I will happen. I will just go in January...or February...or March...or whenever I feel like it. I've been working so much and not taking the time to appreciate my friends and family here. I could be saving money to go back to San Diego (my fave city in America), or to go back to Cruces for NMSU homecoming, or Chicago; never been there. I could go visit my uncle in Vegas. I've never been to Vegas and I don't see my Uncle Paul much. Shoot, I could make a trip up to PIttsburgh to visit my dad's family, and even make a drive down to good ole Mobile to see Carrie-Mae. And Puerto Rico. My mom and I planned to visit our fam in Puerto Rico for Christmas and I was gonna bail to save for South America, but I'm going to spend Christmas with her. Now that I'm busy, have my own car (that is SO good on gas), Henry here in Atlanta and Di and Caro in Athens I'm good to go. And Liz will be at Georgia State this year! I can make her hang out with me...and we'll visit Kaylee in Boston. Yes, she attends Berklee College of Music (she's fancy). Can't forget about Andrea and Karen! Maybe Danielle will move to the city and out of the boonies. But I won't count on it. I would also be excommunicated if I didn't mention visits to see Najah, Cori, and Bria. And maybe I'll meet a boy soon! (I won't hold my breath on that one though lol) I've been thinking about a few things:
     1. There are lessons to be learned in every situation and I think I still have a lesson to learn from living here in ATL.
     2. God won't give you something else until you can learn to be content with the what He has given you.
     3. There is something positive in every situation and something is only as bad as you make it.

On that note...Bring it on, America!

D

And thus commences the slide show...

Athens!! Andrea always looks fly! LOL

Night out in DC with Elena and Di

Some girls I don't see nearly enough!

My parents. :-)

A roommate whom I grew to love! Still in Athens <3

San Diego with Ms. Crista!

My ZTA family

Dear life in America,
I suppose you don't suck ... that bad ;-)

Dyci

Reunited and it feels so good...

I am in the best mood! And have been all week! Atlanta is becoming bearable. In fact, bearable enough that I considered, although for only about 90 seconds, postponing my move to Bogota and making my trip in December a vacation instead. I've been busy all week and the time has flooowwwnnn by as a result. Had an unexpected dinner with some great gals on Tuesday, dinner on Wednesday with my family (which was SO fun), and made a trip to Athens last night to finally be reunited with my roommate from D.C., Diana, and Caro. They spent most of their summer in Colombia so we couldn't hang out :-/ ... but  we certainly made up for lost time last night! Dinner and bar hopping downtown Athens. Something I did all of 10 times my entire college career at UGA. Now that I've graduated I feel like I have time to truly realize everything UGA has to offer, instead of studying or working all the time and missing out on stuff. I expect to go to my first UGA tailgate this year (been to a game, but never a REAL tailgate). In general, I anticipate being in Athens a lot! Ash and Nari are going back to FAM, so they won't be around, and Syd is going to Spain for the semester. Everyone else in Atlanta will have class and homework and/or boyfriends, so it looks like Athens will be the place to be. Now that I have Rosie (the new Honda), we'll be hitting 316 pretty often. She's so good on gas. Gotta love her. Of course, I'll look forward to the weekends Caro and Diana want to go out in Atlanta too LOL. Less driving for me. For about an hour on Wednesday I actually considered not going to Athens last night because I didn't feel like packing. I'm so glad I went. The only other time I've had that much fun in Georgia since I graduated in May was for Andrea's birthday. Can't wait to see what the rest of 2011 has in store for me!

D

New Thoughts...

This past weekend I was talking to a friend that is graduating soon. That dreaded "What am I going to do after I graduate?" conversation. The one conversation most soon-to-be college grads do NOT want to have because the answer to that question is 80% likely to be "I don't know." I quickly recognized that I had erred when I heard a sigh of frustration leave escape from her lungs. She certainly still wasn't any closer to making a decision about what she would do after December than she was 6 months ago when we talked about it...and I immediately felt bad for even asking :-/ We began discussing a few different options and somehow ventured to the money topic; a touchy issue for lots of people. Of course money, salary, wages, etc is a taboo topic unless you have a close relationship to the person with whom are talking. In this case, it was ok :-) Throughout our conversation she told about a mutual friend that was offered a six figure salary to work for one of the largest companies, not only in the States, but in the world. And I know these folks are big because I have seen their products in just about every country, if not all of them, that I've visited. 

So I thought about it...$100,000 per year. As a 22-year-old single woman. No kids. No family to take care of. That's a, excuse my French, SHIT TON of money. Talk about balling out. Now, realistically I can't say what I would do because I have never been in that situation. BUT, at this point in my life, unless that contract came with 25 weeks of leave time and a schedule that allowed me to come and go as I pleased, I would have to turn it down. I'm not one to place a lot of importance on money. For one, money is fake. It's something that someone printed up and said, "This is worth 5." It's just an item used to barter. If we wanted to switch to rocks, or pebbles, or something completely arbitrary tomorrow, we could. Money only has value because we put value on it. I could start an entire blog dedicated to all the things in the world that are more important than money. I can't see myself giving up my freedom and flexibility to travel (and not travel for work because that's not the same) for a lot of money. The memories, friendships, etc that I'd make traveling the world vastly outweigh the money I'd make sitting in someone's office working on their schedule. I'll gladly take my 20,000$ per year (after taxes, etc) as an English teacher for the next few years without any complaints. :-) I'm a simple woman. I don't need much, other than a plane ticket...well tickets.

Now of course I don't want to be an English teacher for the rest of forever. It's cool now at 22. And it might even be cool until I'm about 27 or 28. But what's after that. God only knows. When I was at CGIU in April (which I would HIGHLY recommend to any Millennial World Changers out there), the speaker at one of the plenary sessions told us that wanting to be "somebody" is not enough. You have to decide who that somebody is. When I was at CGIU in April I knew exactly who I wanted to be. Now? Eh. Not so much. And I'm okay with that. Back in April I had finalized the business plan for MODEL26 and I just knew I wanted to be the Executive Director forever and ever and ever. However, over the past few months I've learned that I prefer to be in the field. I love helping other students, but I'd rather be volunteering myself as opposed to sitting in an office placing others in volunteer opportunities. I also had the idea that we would raise money to hire full-time staff to run the org, but we're student/youth run right now and it works. It really works! I LOVE it like this. No offense to old folks, of course. Some of our board members are old folks! LOL We love old folks too. I'm leaning toward making it an AIESEC for volunteering where students have control over (almost) everything...which means I don't want to be the ED at like 35. So where does that leave ME? Well, for one as a board member, but I'll have to have a real job right? Well I toyed with the idea of being a senator, but American politics has been really annoying lately. I would be liable to get up and walk away and tell them to shove it. So I don't think that job is gonna work for me. Thought about being a Peace Corps/CARE country director. That would be cool for a few years. I'd like to work for the Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs at some point to with their education/exchange programs. That'd be cool. Speaking of...gotta finish my Fulbright statements for this year. I also wouldn't mind being a Foreign Service Officer. That'd be dope. But definitely not until I'm older. Maybe the Pickering Fellowship will still be around if/when I decide to pursue that. I was a Pickering finalist a few years ago but wasn't ready to go to graduate school immediately after graduation. Yeah, maybe I'll do that. That sounds like a good idea. I know some folks rag on the State Department, but I bangs with the State Department. They do some pretty dope international diplomacy things. Yeah, that's the plan for today (because you know I have to have a plan).  Teach English for a few years. Volunteer at some cool NGO's wherever I am, then go into the Foreign Service to be an ambassador. Public Diplomacy track. That's a good plan for today ;-)

D

A: What I want.

It's 4am on Sunday morning and the weekend is almost over. I officially did nothing on my weekend off. Yes. I had an entire weekend off. No work. No photoshoots. No MODEL26 stuff. A completely free weekend. I could have gone to the pool. The beach. I could have done absolutely anything and what did I do? Nothing. Nada. Literally. I haven't left the house since I got home from work on Friday at 6pm. I mean I did some private conversational English tutoring, but that really doesn't count.  I did get some edits from my last photoshoot. Sidenote: Is photoshoot one word or two? Because they keep putting little red dots under it.This is my new fave picture of myself. Photo credit to Brian K. Fuller Photography and make-up credit to his wife. They were so much fun to shoot with and I got some great images. I prefer not to be airbrushed, but así es la vida. 

I talked to a girl I met in San Diego (best city in the U.S.) tonight (or last night?) and she told me to keep her informed about my next adventure. And it got me to thinking, this is my next adventure. This is a totally new chapter in my life. This whole summer/fall-just graduated-what am I gonna do next? adventure is happening right now. I watched a movie (per recommendation of a friend) this past week and one line has become my new motto. "Q: What do you do? A: What I want." ... Do whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy. And once it doesn't make you happy, then stop doing it. Don't think about it (unless of course it is completely idiotic). Just do it. I've decided to live by this advice as well. 

The Date is Set...

...well more or less lol. After two long conversations with friends living in Bogota and a few weeks of research I have come up with a plan. I am a lot less anxious now that I have everything in place ... well for the most part. I start TEFL classes in October for 6 consecutive weekends from 9-6 on Saturday and Sunday. Yeah, that schedule sucks! But what can ya do? I wasn't going to pay for the certification or spend the time in the class, but it's a good investment at the end of the day. I'm convinced that teaching English is my passport to the world. ... Or at least any country where they need English teachers. Other English teachers have told me that I don't need the certification. They are right, you don't need the certification to teach in a lot of countries. Lo que pasa es that you receive a higher salary when you have the certification and you have more opportunities. You aren't limited to just places that higher teachers without certification. Me explico? I won't finish class until the weekend of November 6, so I may as well stay and spend Thanksgiving with my family. I don't know when I'll be back after I leave, so I want to make sure I get some fam time in before I leave. PS: the picture up top is of Bogota (in case you didn't use your common sense and figure that out :-) I'll be crashing with a Colombia friend until I find my own place, unless someone can find something good before I get down there. Once I do some touristy stuff for a few weeks I'll look for a job and work on my visa app once I get down there. I was going to sell the new car so that I could have some more money, but I was convinced that it's a better idea to leave it parked at home. If anything happened to where I needed to come back home I will have it. And everyone knows Atlanta is one of the worst big cities in the world if you don't have a car. They really should work on the public transit system here. 

Having a plan makes my life so much simpler. I've never been much of a control freak (lies), so it doesn't bother me THAT much when I don't have a plan (lies lies lies). lol. I know you have to wait on God to reveal things to you sometimes, but the past few weeks of waiting on a revelation were nearly unbearable. Anyone who knows me knows that I am always planning. Always looking at finances. My step mom showed me how to use a spreadsheet to organize all of my finances and I've looked at it at least 4 times a week in the past few weeks. Rearranging. Prioritizing. Etc etc. I always keep plans flexible and I always have a plan b, c, and d. Always prepared. My plans change so much that my mother has told me not to tell her plans until I get ready to leave as in, "On Friday I am going to ____ for this long to do this and that." 

But now that I have somewhat of a concrete plan I have to get to saving. It's nearly impossible to save when you have to pay bills! I also have to make sure I go to New Mexico to visit my dad before I leave. I'll do that the week of the 29th (which means I won't be making any money for a whole week!), but ya gotta make sacrifices. Sidenote: Do you file your taxes when you live abroad? 

I Can Be Selfish

If I had a dollar for every time I've been called selfish this summer I would have enough money for my move to Colombia! ... OK ... probably not. I'd just have like 40 or 50 bucks lol. But still, that's a lot of times. Regardless of the number of times I've heard it, I have to say that I believe I am completely entitled to being selfish right now. Perhaps I being naive and this post will show how much wisdom I lack in my life as a result of a measly 22 years of existence. But I stand firm in the belief that I can be selfish right now and I can be on my own time. I just graduated college after being in school for nearly 18 years. That's almost 82% of my life (I did the math). So for 18 years I had class, exams, some type of extracurricular activity, papers, essays ... eventually part-time jobs and internships. I had some type of academic responsibility that HAD to be completed. Well on May 13, 2011, I was free from all of that responsibility. I now have a phone bill and credit card bill (yup, had my fair share of not listening and putting things on a credit card. Hey, ya live and ya learn. Such is life). I aso have a full-time job, am running my nonprofit org, and working a few weekends a month to get some extra cash. I just signed a modeling/acting contract with an agency in Atlanta, so hopefully I will start bringing in some more money from that within the next few months. However, if I wanted to drop all of this and move to an island somewhere and sell seashells for a living that's what I could do. If I wanted to sell this laptop, cell phone, clothes, etc and give it all to charity, that's what I could do. I can do whatever I want as long as I'm not hurting anyone else. I don't have children. I don't have a significant other. Thank God my parents are both healthy and I don't have to take care of them. So the bottom line is: at 22, single, and college educated I can do whatever I want to do when I want to do it. I CAN be selfish and I CAN be on my own time. If no one else wants to be on my time, they don't have to be and I'll have to deal with it. I can't expect everyone to be on my time. Honestly, I don't have any sense of time. None of my decisions have any sense of permanency to me. If I start doing something I don't like then I'll give a little time and stop doing it. If I don't like a job, I'll quit and find a new one. If I do like a job, I'll stay as long as I want. If I move somewhere and I don't like it, I'll leave. If I do something stupid, I won't do it again. LOL. Now if you still think I'm selfish and I'm worried about myself, then you are absolutely right. Right now is the time when I'm SUPPOSED to worry about myself. Right now is the time when I'm supposed to find out who I am and do me. I set myself up this way so that's exactly what I could spend the early part of my twenties doing: being selfish.

Now I wil admit that I have a problem with patience. Perhaps that can be confused as being selfish. In 6 days I would have been carless in Atlanta for 60 days. Now, if you live in Atlanta you know how bad that SUUUCCKKSS. Atlanta is not a city to be carless in unless (MAYBE) you live right in the center of the city within walking distance of a MARTA station. But MARTA ain't the DC Metro and it sure as heck ain't the NY Subway. I will say that I have possibly been a little impatient with waiting to get a new car. So the past 6 or 7 days it has been "me me me" "my my my" "I I I" (I want a new car, Get me a new car, Where is my new car etc etc lol). However, after 50 or so days of patience I think I deserve to have a little bout of impatience. Modeling jobs, photoshoots, and auditions are not close. I don't work in the city, and I don't hang out near my house, so having to share a car is definitely an annoyance. So, yes, I have become impatient with that over the last week or so. But selfish? No. I have also become impatient with living at home. And perhaps this is exacerbated by the lack of a car. For four years I have lived on my own (even when I lived with my dad and came and went as I pleased and no one asked questions). Moving back home and having to adjust to someone else's rules is a TRUE test of my patience. Word to the wise: Be careful what you pray for because you just might get it. I prayed for patience because I know that's my problem and now God is putting me in a situation where that patience is really being tested. Well, God, I think I did good for 50 days, but You are really tripping now! LOL Not only do I have to live at home, but I actually have to BE at home. By the time I get off, get home, and change and try to drive to a friend's house 45 minutes away, I'm ready to stay the night. Not drive back home so I can give my mom her car back. So there's no point in even driving to a friend's house lol. So I stay at home and complain to friend's on the phone about it. Which I know only makes it worst. Negative thoughts breed more negative thoughts blah blah blah. I read "The Secret." You can save your intangible advice. LOL

I also believe that by 20 or 21 people are who they are. They have developed their character traits and will be that way for the rest of their lives. We all have flaws and by 20 or 21 you have developed them. I had a conversation with a friend of mine and she made a very good point. You have to know your people. You have to know who you are hanging out with. They have flaws and character traits and you have to know what those are in order to know how to handle them. Now once they reveal consistent flaws to you, it's up to you if you want to continue to deal with them or not. If you have a friend that has been flaky for 3 years, they are probably just a flaky person. No matter how much you tell them they are flaky and it's annoying, they are going to be flaky. If you have a sensitive friend, they are going to be sensitive no matter how much you tell them not to be so sensitive. People are going to be who they are unless some life changing event happens (ie children, marriage, death of a loved one, etc) or they have some divine epiphany. I say all of that to say, if I'm selfish, perhaps I'm just a selfish person. If I'm impatient... ok not if I'm impatient ... I'm an impatient person. That's just who I am. It may get better over the years, but I am probably just going to be that way. Now what do I do about it? Make a concerted effort to be aware of it, but I'll likely never just be completely not impatient/selfish (even though I really don't think I'm selfish ;-) ... ok maybe just a little. But I'm 22 and single with the world at my fingertips. I'm just trying to live my life!

D

Los Afroargentinos

I came across an Argentina commercial from October highlighting Afroargentines, so I did a little digging (and by digging I mean YouTube searching...and by searching I mean clicking the related videos on the sidebar lol) and came across this clip from a documentary about Afroargentines. After about 20 more minutes "related videos" clicking, I had completed an entire "Brief History of Afroargentines." The video clip I like the most is below. It's in Spanish and the people speak with Argentine accents, which I don't think are too thick, but if you are learning Spanish you still may not understand completely. 

I also found this video which is in English and Spanish. It's about 8 minutes of slides with text in English and Spanish so I encourage you to watch it if you have some spare time. 

Now that is "re" interesante (a little Argentine slang for ya) para mi because I studied abroad in Argentina in 2009 and, like the video above says, Argentina is one of the "whitest" South American countries I've been to. As a chica negra I'm always interested in the Afro populations of any country, so while I was in Buenos Aires I asked folks about negros en Argentina. From what I learned from conversations with other Argentines, the Afro population in Argentina were immigrants; Brazilian, Dominican, Panamanian...but not originally from Argentina. Well apparently that is wrong. I'm a little embarrassed to find myself surprised that Afrodescendants once made up half of the population of Argentina. I am well versed in the slave trade and it would be foolish to believe that 1. Slaves were only brought to the Caribbean/North America even though those are the most recognized and 2. That slaves never escaped and migrated further south from where they were originally taken (or even after slavery ended decided to head south instead of north or staying put).

I'm so interested in this for one because if I could pick one city in the world to live for the rest of my life it'd be Buenos Aires. Love it! Haven't been to any city better than BsAs and I can't wait to go back. But two, it's just a cool thing to find out. lol I'm applying for a Fulbright ETA in Colombia (the Afrocolombian community there piqued my interest and contributed to me choosing this country as well) for the 2012-2013 school year and actually considered changing my application to a research grant in Argentina for about 90 seconds before I realized that a 20 minute YouTube session does not provide sufficient information for a 2-page research proposal. So, Argentina, my love, we will have to wait to meet again a little while longer. 

D