Take (Calculated) Risks: You'll love yourself for it

It's 4:48am. I'm awake -____- (obviously since I'm writing). I'm pretty sure I'm awake because I ate pasta before bed. I'm not sure how true it is, but the woman I worked for in Milan told me you're not supposed to eat carbs before bed because you don't sleep well because it gives your body too much energy. Whether or not that is true, I am awake, soooo ...

So, before I begin with my late night thoughts ...

ANNOUNCEMENT
Several people have asked me about my MODEL26 journey, ie the steps I took to create a nonprofit organization, any tips I have, etc etc. Well, I am now a contributing writer for SocialChange.is, "a story-sharing platform for social entrepreneurs to share new ideas, diverse experiences, and lessons learned from their journeys in creating innovative forms of social impact." You can find my story there (plus those of others), as well as tips and tricks of the trade that I've learned thus far. This blog is dedicated to my random dealings and thoughts, especially the 5am ones :-P

My random thoughts for this post are dedicated to taking risks, but only calculated ones. There are a few risks I've taken/am taking that have gotten me where I am today. They were/are decisions that definitely could have left/leave me out in the cold broke and homeless ... ok, that's certainly untrue, but I'm a drama queen, so I need the 'extraness.'

In the past:
My senior year of high school I applied to 4 schools (not like 889378 like some of my peers. That seemed pointless since I really only wanted to go to 2 different schools, neither of which was the school I attended :-P). I received a scholarship to Howard University in Washington, DC. I turned it down and went to THE University of Georgia

, a school I only applied to because my mom made me choose at least one in-state institution. It was a calculated risk. I had HOPE, so at least my tuition would be paid for. I had enough scholarship money to cover living for the first year, but what would I do sophomore year? At the time I didn't know, but, if you know me personally, you know that attending UGA was one of the best decisions I've ever made. The scholarship money came in. I received government grants. Full scholarships to study in Belize and Argentina and a scholarship for study/work in DC. It all worked out.

I went into college as an Emma Bowen intern. I had a paid corporate internship with Comcast Communications in Atlanta and every summer I would attend at least 2 professional development conferences, and the money I made over the summer was matched as a scholarship during the school year. I interned at Comcast for 2 summers before I had to give up the money. I hated it and the money wasn't worth being misreable. I remember telling my mom I wouldn't finish the full program and she was quick to remind me that I was financially dependent on the program. My second semester of sophomore year I put my foot down and decided to resign from the program. When I called my mom and told her she was very supportive and told me we'd figure it out ... SIKE! That's a boldfaced lie. She hung up on me when I told her. She probably won't admit it, but she did. "Ma, I'm definitely not doing Emma Bowen next summer" - "OK. I'll talk to you later." *click* ... She called back a little later though and said she would support me :) The internship committment was 8-10 weeks per summer, which was basically my entire summer. So the 2 summers I didn't intern I studied in Argentina and went to Finland as a CISV leader. It all worked out. 

My senior year of college I received plenty of scholarship money, but I started my nonprofit organization the year before, and it needed money. It was too young for grants, so I used my scholarship money for second semester to travel to do some work for my organization and took out loans to cover my school and living costs. I won't lie; I'm not sure if that will pay off, but I am certainly optimistic because my organization has got me a few thousand dollars in debt, and I hate oweing people (well, except my mom. I always owe her something... conditioner, a garage door opener, something :-P) I'll keep you updated about the progress of this risk ... but it will work out.

Current risks:
I'm not getting a job when I move to Germany. I can get a visa as a freelancer. Because I am a certified English teacher and am multilingual I can prove that I am able to find freelance positions without having a company sponsor me. As long as I pay into the system, I can get a visa for about a year or two, which is enough time before I decide if I want to go to law school in Munich or Vienna. I have 3 part-time nanny/babysitting offers, so I'll pick up some extra money there, but I can't get a job now. I've been spending 30-40 hours per week doing stuff for my nonprofit and it's paying off. Things are progressing and I can't lose momentun right now. How will I live and eat? Well I am hoping the few extra dollars I make as a babysitter will at least cover my rent and bills. Everything else is optional, but, ultimately, I don't know. Things are going so well with my organization that I have to take it as a sign to keep going and wait for everything to work out. It will all work out.

Well, the greatest risk of all right now is probably my move to Munich. For a few weeks in June I tried to convince myself that I wasn't moving to Munich for a boy (partly for me, but also partly for him because he didn't want the pressure of being the reason for my bitterness if things didn't work out), but I am. I pride myself on being able to be completely honest with myself, to recognize my mistakes and my flaws. My biggest calculated risk thus far. It will all work out. :)

Moral of the story? Follow your heart.

D