Is it annoying for someone to post a new blog everyday? I don't really follow blogs, and I don't know many bloggers, so I'm not sure what the appropriate number of 'blogs per week' is.
So someone e-mailed me a link to a short documentary called "Impunidad" about the government and paramilitaries in Colombia. It has English subtitles and I recommend it for anyone interested in Colombia, or just government and human rights issues, etc. But, as a warning, it's one of those movies that really makes you think and leaves you with a very heavy heart. I linked the movie title to the website, so just click it and watch if you can. It's about 30 minutes. Anywho, watching Impunidad got me to thinking about poverty and human rights, which led me to thinking about inequality here in the States as well. The poor are exploited so much. All over the world. Why? Because it's easy to exploit the poor and they are less likely to speak up. They don't have money. They are uneducated. And they usually don't even know they are being exploited. Of course, this brought me back around to my thoughts about education. Knowledge is power is one of the truest statements that has ever been spoken. Poor people remain in a cycle of poverty because they don't get the education they need to pull themselves out of poverty. I find it so hard to believe that some people don't think education is a human right. Education is one of the simplest tools a person can have to ensure that they are able to live as human beings and not as animals or scavengers searching garbage dumps for feed and plastic to sell for money.
When I was in San Diego for Clinton Global Initiative University, I went to a session where the speaker told us that we needed to find out what we are passionate about. What we are willing to die for. Everyone wants to "be somebody," but we had to decide just who it is we want to be. Now, I haven't figured out exactly who I want to be, but I do know what I'm passionate about and that is educating the poor. Especially when it comes to exploitation and racial inequity. It's the one thing that I get extremely heated and defensie about. Shoot, I willingly wrote 30 pages about ways to get the poor more involved in the democratic process in the U.S. Maybe one day I'll expand on that paper and write a thesis. So many countries in the western hemisphere have a system in place where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and the poor just so happen to be Afrodescendents. This has got to stop; especially in democratic nations where everyone should have a voice.
But moving on before I get lost in my thoughts, I find myself in a place that is familiar for many recent graduates, and one that most of my peers would kill to have right now. First off, I am sure that I'm sharing this whole "What am I going to do with my life?" sentiment with thousands of young people. We work for 18 years only to graduate college just as lost as the day we stepped foot into a classroom. Fortunately for me, I was blessed enough to have several mentors guiding me through college who ensured that I had resources to secure internships, study abroad experience, and language practice. As a result, I am a 22-year-old college graduate with, what seems to be, the world at my fingertips. Whereas my peers are still looking for jobs, one fell into my lap when I wasn't even looking! I'm not in a bunch of debt from student loans, so I don't feel restricted by having to pay back 20,000$ to the government (which is ridiculous! I mean kids in Finland go to college for free! Everyone. Free. Off topic, but just saying). Basically, I feel like I can do whatever, go wherever, and be whomever I want right now. Maybe that's a great place to be for some people. But, let me tell you, for a Gemini that might be the WORST place to be! LOL Do you know how indecisive we are?? So many decisions! So many options! And my attention span is this *snaps fingers* short. Oh, and yes I told the folks I'm not enrolling in classes in Europe. They know now.
Luckily, I have this time in the morning to think about things and get my life together for a bit. Of course, there's also a chance that while I am thinking I'll change my mind about what I thought the previous day. For example, yesterday I was set on going to Nica to teach and volunteer in the fall. Right now, at this second, at 10:11am EST on July 27, 2011, that's not the plan anymore. I signed up to teach English again starting in September. The HR manager at my job also said I'm welcome to stay here as long as I want (it makes her job easier because she doesn't have to work to find someone to replace me). The schedule is really flexible and I can still go to modeling/acting auditions whenever I get ready, so why not stay ya know? The office environment here is great. My officemate is funny. And, let's face it, money makes the world go 'round so I need a steady income to supplement modeling/acting stuff. As far as I'm concerned, it makes more sense to stay in the States during the fall and leave in January for Nica right when it gets too cold to bear! I can save a ton of money working and modeling/acting, be here for MODEL26, December graduations, Christmas in Puerto Rico to see family, and UGA football season (gotta make up for the 2 seasons I missed as an undergrad!). I'll be teaching English once a week in Atlanta and just TAKING A BREAK! Maybe doing all of that isn't what some people consider taking a break. But for me, it's a much needed break. So that's the plan for July 27. I'll let you know when that changes.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
I'm Going to Live My Life...
*Nope. I'm still not proofreading my blog posts* LOL
Well, a few people have asked where I've been and why I haven't been writing. I just haven't felt like I had anything worth saying LOL. The past few weeks, however, have been hectic. Not in terms of life, but just in terms of my thoughts. My brain is always in motion. Literally. Even when I'm sleeping I'm dreaming about the things I was thinking about before I went to bed. It is very exhausting to say the least. But after 3 weeks of thinking, I've finally figured out how to get everything out in words, which is a tad bit relaxing. So, what have I been thinking about? The three things dominating my life...well maybe there are 4...yeah, let's go with 4...are:
1. MODEL26: not going to be able to get away from this. I am literally the mother to this organization and treat it as my child. You know, as much as a mother might want to get rid of a difficult child, she loves it anyway and does everything she can to provide for it? That's where I am right now with this organization. Don't get me wrong, I love it with all my heart and know that it's worth the time, but sometimes I just want to throw my hands in the air and let.it.go. Thankfully, however, I have been blessed with the world's greatest staff and interns. M26 would be absolutely nothing without them. And my intern, Julia. God knows she is literally heaven sent. I love talking to her! Whenever something happens right on time or miraculously works out she says, "That was God timing." Ya know, instead of good timing. I think that's so cute!
2. Graduate School v. Life: Graduate school in Europe is out. I'm crazy right??!! Two years in Europe getting two Master's degrees and living life in England and Barcelona?! Yup, I'm passing it up. My heart just ain't in it. I've tried to make myself excited about it, and I'm just not. After being in Nica and Peru I know my heart is in Central and South America. I mean, who doesn't want to visit Europe...but living there and going to school? Nah. Maybe later...In other news, I went to e-mail the program coordinator to tell them I wasn't coming, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. Besides, it's only July LOL. Of course, if she reads this she will know. So what am I going to do since I'm not moving to Europe on October 1. I'm going to live my life.
I'm working now to save money to do some more MODEL26 site visits (Brazil, Colombia, DR, Haiti). Hopefully by October I will be ready to leave. I'm thinking of going back to Nica for a few weeks/months to help with the education team. I'll be working on my Fulbright ETA application while I'm doing all of this traveling and working. Applying for Colombia this year. I was a finalist for Spain last year, so fingers crossed I'll actually get it this time around. I thought about getting an internship in DC in the fall and getting back into some policy work, but I really can't be confined to a schedule right now. I need to be ready to get up and leave when I want to and not worry about getting a bad review or using vacation days. That life just isn't for me. I also thought about doing some freelance writing, but writing is only fun when someone isn't making you do it.
3. Modeling/Acting: Yup. I've dabbled in modeling a bit, but never took it seriously because I was a geek and had to write papers and run NGOs and whatnot. Once I graduated I decided to try to get back into modeling...and somehow stumbled across an acting agent as well. Apparently being a Gemini really does make you a natural acting. When I auditioned my agent asked, "And you're sure you've never had an acting class?"...What she doesn't know if that I've been a drama queen for 22 years! So I start acting classes this week because I don't know what "slating" is and all those other technical terms I need to know about this business. Evidently being an actor is more than just reciting lines. It is also evident that you don't have to actually be GOOD at acting to get a job. Case in point: Single Ladies.
4. My faith: Now this isn't down here at #4 because it's the least important. That's just the way the numbers fell. Anywho, when I was in Athens I fell in love with Cornerstone Church. I literally wanted to go to church everyday (and I did go 3-4 times a week). I loved the people, the message, the worship, the diversity. EVERYTHING! I feel into my little niche with the young ladies ministry and really had my group of go-to girls when I needed to talk about something. I've genuinely felt completely lost in my faith since I haven't had them. At first I felt really guilty about it because, let's be honest, it's not like I've taken it upon myself to do my daily Bible reading or even listen to a message online. But then I listened to a message online where the pastor spoke about the importance of community and having a mentor to disciple you. I thought growing in my faith was something I could do alone. Something I could do without my Cornerstone ladies, but I was sadly mistaken. My mom attends church here in Atlanta, but I really can't get into the big megachurch thing anymore after having such a tight relationship with everyone at Cornerstone. I went to a new church a few weeks ago, but it didn't move me. Maybe I'll give it another try this weekend, but if anyone has any suggestions for a good, diverse (in ethnicity and age) church with small groups please let me know!
*I would also like to mention that next moth marks the 11th month that I have not had a boyfriend. That may not seem like a big deal to many of you, but my friends and I will have to celebrate this soon! You know who you are!!*
Well, a few people have asked where I've been and why I haven't been writing. I just haven't felt like I had anything worth saying LOL. The past few weeks, however, have been hectic. Not in terms of life, but just in terms of my thoughts. My brain is always in motion. Literally. Even when I'm sleeping I'm dreaming about the things I was thinking about before I went to bed. It is very exhausting to say the least. But after 3 weeks of thinking, I've finally figured out how to get everything out in words, which is a tad bit relaxing. So, what have I been thinking about? The three things dominating my life...well maybe there are 4...yeah, let's go with 4...are:
1. MODEL26: not going to be able to get away from this. I am literally the mother to this organization and treat it as my child. You know, as much as a mother might want to get rid of a difficult child, she loves it anyway and does everything she can to provide for it? That's where I am right now with this organization. Don't get me wrong, I love it with all my heart and know that it's worth the time, but sometimes I just want to throw my hands in the air and let.it.go. Thankfully, however, I have been blessed with the world's greatest staff and interns. M26 would be absolutely nothing without them. And my intern, Julia. God knows she is literally heaven sent. I love talking to her! Whenever something happens right on time or miraculously works out she says, "That was God timing." Ya know, instead of good timing. I think that's so cute!
2. Graduate School v. Life: Graduate school in Europe is out. I'm crazy right??!! Two years in Europe getting two Master's degrees and living life in England and Barcelona?! Yup, I'm passing it up. My heart just ain't in it. I've tried to make myself excited about it, and I'm just not. After being in Nica and Peru I know my heart is in Central and South America. I mean, who doesn't want to visit Europe...but living there and going to school? Nah. Maybe later...In other news, I went to e-mail the program coordinator to tell them I wasn't coming, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. Besides, it's only July LOL. Of course, if she reads this she will know. So what am I going to do since I'm not moving to Europe on October 1. I'm going to live my life.
I'm working now to save money to do some more MODEL26 site visits (Brazil, Colombia, DR, Haiti). Hopefully by October I will be ready to leave. I'm thinking of going back to Nica for a few weeks/months to help with the education team. I'll be working on my Fulbright ETA application while I'm doing all of this traveling and working. Applying for Colombia this year. I was a finalist for Spain last year, so fingers crossed I'll actually get it this time around. I thought about getting an internship in DC in the fall and getting back into some policy work, but I really can't be confined to a schedule right now. I need to be ready to get up and leave when I want to and not worry about getting a bad review or using vacation days. That life just isn't for me. I also thought about doing some freelance writing, but writing is only fun when someone isn't making you do it.
3. Modeling/Acting: Yup. I've dabbled in modeling a bit, but never took it seriously because I was a geek and had to write papers and run NGOs and whatnot. Once I graduated I decided to try to get back into modeling...and somehow stumbled across an acting agent as well. Apparently being a Gemini really does make you a natural acting. When I auditioned my agent asked, "And you're sure you've never had an acting class?"...What she doesn't know if that I've been a drama queen for 22 years! So I start acting classes this week because I don't know what "slating" is and all those other technical terms I need to know about this business. Evidently being an actor is more than just reciting lines. It is also evident that you don't have to actually be GOOD at acting to get a job. Case in point: Single Ladies.
4. My faith: Now this isn't down here at #4 because it's the least important. That's just the way the numbers fell. Anywho, when I was in Athens I fell in love with Cornerstone Church. I literally wanted to go to church everyday (and I did go 3-4 times a week). I loved the people, the message, the worship, the diversity. EVERYTHING! I feel into my little niche with the young ladies ministry and really had my group of go-to girls when I needed to talk about something. I've genuinely felt completely lost in my faith since I haven't had them. At first I felt really guilty about it because, let's be honest, it's not like I've taken it upon myself to do my daily Bible reading or even listen to a message online. But then I listened to a message online where the pastor spoke about the importance of community and having a mentor to disciple you. I thought growing in my faith was something I could do alone. Something I could do without my Cornerstone ladies, but I was sadly mistaken. My mom attends church here in Atlanta, but I really can't get into the big megachurch thing anymore after having such a tight relationship with everyone at Cornerstone. I went to a new church a few weeks ago, but it didn't move me. Maybe I'll give it another try this weekend, but if anyone has any suggestions for a good, diverse (in ethnicity and age) church with small groups please let me know!
*I would also like to mention that next moth marks the 11th month that I have not had a boyfriend. That may not seem like a big deal to many of you, but my friends and I will have to celebrate this soon! You know who you are!!*
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