2 Years in 140 Characters

OK. So it's not 140 characters. This is gonna be a short post, because, otherwise, it's going to be an extraordinarily long post. Considering that I haven't posted anything since 2013, here's a quick recap. 

Became a flight attendant. It was cool. Then it wasn't. I quit. Moved back to Italy. It's still amazeballs. Became a product specialist for Mazda. Started teaching private English lessons part-time. Lived between the USA and Italy for almost two years. Auto show season ended. Back in Milan full-time as an English teacher and hanging out with my boyfran.

Boyfriend
Name: Joseph Sfregola
Occupation: Musician (Piano and Voice) www.josephsfregola.com (Don't be shy. Click it.) Nationality: Italian
Answers to the questions you want to ask: We met in 2012 at a dinner party. We speak Italian "at home." He's learning English. He's getting better.

Been writing poetry for a few months. Mostly lovey dovey stuff. I'll leave you with a piece here. 

When I lie down at night i think of you
What it'd be like to have you here
The rythm of you breathing and the beating of your heart
Oh how terrifyingly wonderful it could all be

You cloud my thoughts
Can't see, cant comprehend
Driving me crazy
but I hope it never ends
I often dream I see us there

You look in my eyes
You see me all
You see me soul

I often dream
That I'm watchin' you
I look in your eyes
I see you all
I see your soul

What if we touched
Would you feel me the way I feel you
My skin on fire and burning with desire
Yearning for you more, more than you could ever know

The Golden Rules

Wow! I haven't written a blog post in 2013 and we're almost halfway done with this year. Talk about commitment issues. Well, I did write that one blog post for SocialChange last month. Anywho, I was just thinking about some important things I've learned in the last 2 years that I figured I'd share with the world. :) This has been my formula to success.

1. Be nice. Yeah, be nice to people. It's easy and simple, but what I'm saying is be genuinely nice. Don't be pretentious. Just be nice and expect nothing in return. No recognition. No thanks or expressions of gratitude. Just be nice and when you get something in return be appreciative. Karma is real, on top of that, there just aren't enough genuinely nice people in the world. We could use more. :)

I always use CouchSurfing as an example. It takes a really nice person to offer their home to a stranger expecting nothing in return. It takes an even nicer person to be screwed over by a stranger (which does happen with CS occasionally  and not to change who they are or what they do because of one person. CSers are some of the happiest people I've ever met because the universe does send good things to good people.

2. You get out of it what you put into it. What is "it"? Anything. Life. Your job. Your friendships. Your relationships. If you put your all into something, always have an optimistic attitude, things normally work out.  I didn't say you will get your desired outcome, but things will work out the way they are supposed to.

If you keep complaining about your situation, just expect it to continue to be crappy. Your glass should always be half full, even when it's half empty.

3. Think. This one is self-explanatory, but seems to be the hardest thing for most people I know. People don't think a lot. I've learned that most folks want something handed to them. The people in this world that have managed to truly make something of themselves aren't really smart or like crazy wizards with super powers. They just used their common sense. Common sense and good work ethic will take you soooo far in life.

4. Be happy. Do whatever makes you happy. Don't put it on hold. Take a risk and put God first and let Him do the work. If you remember tips 1-3 this one shouldn't be a problem. Money won't make you happy. I lived in 2012 off about 12,000USD. I visited roughly 8-10 countries (not going to take the time right now to do a mental recap), and lived in Italy and Germany. I didn't have a lot of "stuff" (which is what I call anything that is replaceable ie, car, clothes, shoes, etc) or a lot of money, but I was happy. I was stressed sometimes not knowing where my next bank deposit was going to come from, but after successfully executing 1-3 I had no problems at all, and even felt silly about stressing over material things.

You know that quote, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Yeah, I hate that quote. It's so overused by folks who don't even do #1, let alone 2-4 :-P But I'm going to use it here because it's so true.


I often get random Facebook messages from people essentially asking me how I do "it." Well that's how. I try to be nice. I put my all into everything. I think...A lot...and for myself. I do what makes me happy.  

I'm Still Here :)

Whoa!! My last post was in September? I am horrible! I knew I hadn't blogged in a while, but I didn't realize it had been so long. To my defense, though, I have since published several posts on SocialChange.is and I've been doing a lot of journaling. In fact, I've been told to write a book, which I started, but I just really don't have time right now. I hate, excuse my French, half-assing things, and that's where I am at this point. I half-ass my modeling, half-ass my writing, and even sometimes half-ass my work with MODEL26. I have given myself a huge guilt trip because at least I recognize that I'm spreading myself too thin, which I didn't know was possible without a school :-P

So what have I decided? I've decided to focus. I can't do everything right now, and something has got to give. I chose modeling and MODEL26. Both are risky. There's no telling how much money I'll be able to make as a model, or if I'll even be able to pay my bills. And there's certainly no salary in the near future to be made from my nonprofit. And my love of traveling won't die out any time soon, so that will have to remain funded :-) Solution? Keep costs minimal. If I keep my living costs minimal I can still do everything I want to do. In fact, come December 31, 2012 I will officially be homeless. Not homeless in the sense of not having a home (which I guess is what being homeless is), but I won't have a home to call my own. For the past 3 months I haven't spent more than 3 weeks in one city, and it doesn't look like that's going to change any time soon, so there's really no sense in paying rent for an apartment I won't be in for more than 2 weeks at a time. Since I won't have rent or a car to pay for, this, in theory, should keep costs down. Less things to pay for means less stress.

So what about Chris the Amazing? Remember him? He's great. He's still around :-) We went to Brazil and Amsterdam for three and a half weeks. It was dope. :-P I'll be spreading my life between his place in Germany, my mom's place on the east coast, and my dad's place out west, something that I haven't fully discussed with them yet :-P In the meantime, I'll be taking January off to take an intense German course and improve my speaking abilities a bit. Come January's end, I'll be back Stateside. We'll see where my life goes from there. I really can't plan any further than 60 days out. It's really too stressful.

D

The most ignorant educated man I've ever met...

I am normally a very diplomatic person. I allow people to speak their mind without judging them. We don't all have to agree. I understand that... But today I was on the verge of losing it on the little regional Sky West plane from El Paso to Denver. 

I sat next to this guy on the plane that made the hour and 20 minute ride from Texas to Colorado the world's worst plane ride. He seemed educated enough. We talked about his work with USAID and the USDA. Seemed like a pretty knowledgeable guy. Thought we'd have a lot in common. Until he told me, "You know, you've got three things working for you, you're a woman, you're American, and you're colored." .... Excuse me I'm what? Is it 1925? Colored? Really? .... And it was all downhill from there.

"Do you ever call your boyfriend Adolf because I do that a lot of my German colleagues. It really pisses them off." ... 0_o No actually. I tend to refrain from offensive remarks about Nazis and WWII. I can't ever imagine why one would anger at being called Adolf Hitler.

 "... or maybe jokes about the Poles because those are normally better anyway...." OK. This is a joke right? This is a test from God, because I am about to lose.my.mind. ...up in here ... up in here...

"...and people shouldn't complain about Americans acting like we own everything because we do own 25% of everything. ..." ... So now 25% is everything? OK. Got it. Good to know.

"Wait...so your boyfriend doesn't want to live in America? Everyone wants to be American. American citizenship is the best thing you can have. I mean, I know people that marry folks in other countries and then give up their citizenship because they don't want to pay taxes to two countries. Well I say let them sell all their stuff here and never come back. If I were the president I'd make sure anyone who gave up their citizenship could never come back to this country."  NO! EVERYONE DOESN'T WANT TO LIVE IN AMERICA BECAUSE THEY WANT TO AVOID IGNORANT BAFOONS LIKE YOU!!

*I pull out my book at an attempt to demonstrate that I would rather disengage any further conversation.* "Oh, reading a love novel huh?" ... (Since that's the only thing a 23-year-old woman woudl possibly read on a plane.) No. I'm reading Tears of the Desert. It's a memoir about survival in Darfur. "Oh. Who wrote that?" Halima Bashir. She's a refugee living in England. "I bet it's about how much she loves England." ... -____- No. Ignaramus. It's about survival in Darfur...like I said. 

Needless to say, I didn't lose my mind. I kept my cool. There weren't enough seats on the plane and I would have been stuck in my little seat the remainder of the flight. However, after telling me he had just interviewed for a faculty position at NMSU I snuck a peak at the full name on his boarding pass. Upon deplaining, I promptly called the College of Agriculture and Consumer Sciences to recommend that they absolutely NOT hire this man. The hiring manager was very appreciative of my call, shocked at his statements, and apologized that I was subjected to his ignorance for so long.

Hopefully this guys never gets another job in his life! 

Was I wrong for not saying something? Should I have put him in place? Was I coward? These are serious questions. Please feel free to answer.

Take (Calculated) Risks: You'll love yourself for it

It's 4:48am. I'm awake -____- (obviously since I'm writing). I'm pretty sure I'm awake because I ate pasta before bed. I'm not sure how true it is, but the woman I worked for in Milan told me you're not supposed to eat carbs before bed because you don't sleep well because it gives your body too much energy. Whether or not that is true, I am awake, soooo ...

So, before I begin with my late night thoughts ...

ANNOUNCEMENT
Several people have asked me about my MODEL26 journey, ie the steps I took to create a nonprofit organization, any tips I have, etc etc. Well, I am now a contributing writer for SocialChange.is, "a story-sharing platform for social entrepreneurs to share new ideas, diverse experiences, and lessons learned from their journeys in creating innovative forms of social impact." You can find my story there (plus those of others), as well as tips and tricks of the trade that I've learned thus far. This blog is dedicated to my random dealings and thoughts, especially the 5am ones :-P

My random thoughts for this post are dedicated to taking risks, but only calculated ones. There are a few risks I've taken/am taking that have gotten me where I am today. They were/are decisions that definitely could have left/leave me out in the cold broke and homeless ... ok, that's certainly untrue, but I'm a drama queen, so I need the 'extraness.'

In the past:
My senior year of high school I applied to 4 schools (not like 889378 like some of my peers. That seemed pointless since I really only wanted to go to 2 different schools, neither of which was the school I attended :-P). I received a scholarship to Howard University in Washington, DC. I turned it down and went to THE University of Georgia

, a school I only applied to because my mom made me choose at least one in-state institution. It was a calculated risk. I had HOPE, so at least my tuition would be paid for. I had enough scholarship money to cover living for the first year, but what would I do sophomore year? At the time I didn't know, but, if you know me personally, you know that attending UGA was one of the best decisions I've ever made. The scholarship money came in. I received government grants. Full scholarships to study in Belize and Argentina and a scholarship for study/work in DC. It all worked out.

I went into college as an Emma Bowen intern. I had a paid corporate internship with Comcast Communications in Atlanta and every summer I would attend at least 2 professional development conferences, and the money I made over the summer was matched as a scholarship during the school year. I interned at Comcast for 2 summers before I had to give up the money. I hated it and the money wasn't worth being misreable. I remember telling my mom I wouldn't finish the full program and she was quick to remind me that I was financially dependent on the program. My second semester of sophomore year I put my foot down and decided to resign from the program. When I called my mom and told her she was very supportive and told me we'd figure it out ... SIKE! That's a boldfaced lie. She hung up on me when I told her. She probably won't admit it, but she did. "Ma, I'm definitely not doing Emma Bowen next summer" - "OK. I'll talk to you later." *click* ... She called back a little later though and said she would support me :) The internship committment was 8-10 weeks per summer, which was basically my entire summer. So the 2 summers I didn't intern I studied in Argentina and went to Finland as a CISV leader. It all worked out. 

My senior year of college I received plenty of scholarship money, but I started my nonprofit organization the year before, and it needed money. It was too young for grants, so I used my scholarship money for second semester to travel to do some work for my organization and took out loans to cover my school and living costs. I won't lie; I'm not sure if that will pay off, but I am certainly optimistic because my organization has got me a few thousand dollars in debt, and I hate oweing people (well, except my mom. I always owe her something... conditioner, a garage door opener, something :-P) I'll keep you updated about the progress of this risk ... but it will work out.

Current risks:
I'm not getting a job when I move to Germany. I can get a visa as a freelancer. Because I am a certified English teacher and am multilingual I can prove that I am able to find freelance positions without having a company sponsor me. As long as I pay into the system, I can get a visa for about a year or two, which is enough time before I decide if I want to go to law school in Munich or Vienna. I have 3 part-time nanny/babysitting offers, so I'll pick up some extra money there, but I can't get a job now. I've been spending 30-40 hours per week doing stuff for my nonprofit and it's paying off. Things are progressing and I can't lose momentun right now. How will I live and eat? Well I am hoping the few extra dollars I make as a babysitter will at least cover my rent and bills. Everything else is optional, but, ultimately, I don't know. Things are going so well with my organization that I have to take it as a sign to keep going and wait for everything to work out. It will all work out.

Well, the greatest risk of all right now is probably my move to Munich. For a few weeks in June I tried to convince myself that I wasn't moving to Munich for a boy (partly for me, but also partly for him because he didn't want the pressure of being the reason for my bitterness if things didn't work out), but I am. I pride myself on being able to be completely honest with myself, to recognize my mistakes and my flaws. My biggest calculated risk thus far. It will all work out. :)

Moral of the story? Follow your heart.

D